My journey to the truth

Although this blog is about clean living and eating and well being, I was lead to share with you a little bit about how I came to desire to live this way.  I am not going through some fad, trying a special diet to lose weight, nor did I suddenly become "aware" or "conscious"...   well let me just tell my story.....

Back in 2006 I was quite disillusioned with christianity.  I believed in “the bible”, but didn’t fully understand its concepts.  All of my life I had been told that the “old testament” was for the jews, and that the “new testament” was for the christians.  It was never explained to me why.  The only thing that was ever explained to me was that being a christian meant you had “christ in you,” and that the jews didn’t believe in “christ.”  This idealistic phrase supposedly meant that christ dwelt inside you, in your heart or soul if you will, and that because you were his, you had a sure seat “in heaven.”

I walked around proudly, with my claim to christianity like a badge of honor upon my forehead and on my hand.  I sung in the choir, I served on the usher board, I attended sunday school and bible study, I even represented my church at different local events.  I was dedicated to reading the sunday school lessons.  Pouring over those little pamphlets as if they were scripture themselves…  In all of that dedication, studying, singing, and reading I never learned a thing, except that I must be baptized, I must repent, and that I was obligated to give tithes and offerings.

Sad to say, this is the attitude of many church goers.  We blindly follow the teachings of our pastors, preachers, evangelists, ministers, and bishops without question.  Those who have dared to ask questions have been met with the admonishment of “touch not the anointed.”  These words erroneously repeated from Tahalym/Psalm 105:15 and Dabry Hayamym Alaph/1 Chron 16:22.  I can only imagine that the recipients of said admonishing never study these verses to determine what they mean or why there were spoken.    For those of you that do not know, let me show you what Daud was referencing when he made that statement:

Brashyt 20: 3 But YHUH came to Abymalak/Abimelech in a dream by night and

said to him, “Behold, you are a dead man because of the woman whom you
have taken, for she is a man's ashah.” 4 Now Abymalak had not approached her.
So he said, “YHUH, will you kill an innocent people? 5 Did he not himself say to
me, ‘She is my sister’? And she herself said, ‘He is my brother.’ In the integrity of
my heart and the innocence of my hands I have done this.” 6 Then Alahym said
to him in the dream, “Yes, I know that you have done this in the integrity of your
heart, and it was I who kept you from sinning against me. Therefore I did not let
you touch her. 7 Now then, return the man's ashah, for he is a prophet, so that
he will pray for you, and you shall live. But if you do not return her, know that
you shall surely die, you and all who are yours.”

So let us go back to the verses aforementioned.  19 When you were few in number, of little account, and sojourners in it, 20 wandering from nation to nation, from one reign to another people, 21 he allowed no one to oppress them; he rebuked sovereigns on their account, 22 saying, “Touch not my anointed ones, do my prophets no harm!”  I pray you’ve had an ah ha moment… If not, reread again, and again, and again, until you get it.  I shared this to prove a point.  We truly perish from lack of knowledge. 

It wasn’t studying that turned me away from churchanity…  It wasn’t doubt that turned me away from churchanity.  I didn’t all of a sudden turn into a skeptic, nor did I come across some astonishing information that turned my belief aside.  I didn’t have an epiphany.  Nothing dramatic happened to cause me to turn from my belief and turn toward obedience to the Turah of YHUH.  In fact, what did happen was that I slowly began to grow hungry and thirsty for more.  I began to desire more than what I was being taught.  And when that hunger and thirst was not quenched, I just stopped going.  Period.

I didn’t step foot into a church or watch a “gospel” program for a few years.  I listened to my “gospel” music every now and again because it made me feel good.  But other than that, I just stopped completely.  I didn’t pray and ask why.  In fact, I never spoke a word about what I was feeling.  I felt as if I would be looked down upon because of my lack of understanding and my need for something more, so I just kept my thoughts and feelings to myself. 

Then, in the late summer of 2008 my children came to me, one by one, to inform me that they were not interested in celebrating holidays any more, and wanted to go back to the way things were when they were growing up.  See, I didn’t believe in man’s holidays and had tried my best to raise my children without celebrating them.  When we did celebrate them, I tried to keep “jesus” in the celebration.  I shake my head at the notion.  Fact is, the only thing in these man made traditions is paganism through and through. And yes Jesus is pagan.

Anyway, my children were all married, and they asked me for information to share with their spouses as to why they shouldn’t be celebrating these pagan rituals.  So, I dug into my old study materials and I also began to search out information using online dictionaries and encyclopedias.  Within a week I had an arsenal of information to share with them.  We began to meet weekly to discuss what was being uncovered.  What I hadn’t counted on, was running across some information that would literally set my whole way of life and thinking right side up. 

One day, as I was researching, I came across a website that spoke on this thing called a tetragrammaton.  I had never heard of such a thing.  I decided to dig a little deeper to determine just what it was.  To say I was shocked to find out that the Creator had a name other than lord or god is an understatement.  In the beginning, I didn’t want to believe it.  But there was something speaking to me that said “dig a little deeper.”  And so I dug.  And I dug.  And I dug.  And I dug… and eventually I unearthed a treasure that is so valuable that no amount of money, fame, fortune, or even promise of life can cause me to give it up. 

Because I didn’t have an understanding of Abaryt/Hebrew, I felt I needed to begin learning the Alaph Byth so that I could understand the pronunciation of the Yad Ha Uau Ha that spelled the name of the Father.  The more I studied, the more I felt I needed to learn.  I was eager to learn.  My hunger and thirst came back with a vengeance.  I wasn’t getting any sleep.  Yet I was energized.  I was also a bit frightened.  And I was also becoming angry.  Every day, a little angrier than the day before.

Why was I angry?  I was actually quite pissed off, that I was finding out that all of the doctrine that I had been fed for over 40 years was just a bunch of lies and propaganda to keep me indoctrinated.  I was fighting mad.  I wanted to go to every church I had ever attended and blast each and every pastor, minister, evangelist, elder, deacon, and bishop in those churches.  I wanted to shout to the rooftops that folks were being lied to.  I wanted to tell EVERYONE!  I learned quickly that not everyone would be ready nor willing to hear the truths I was discovering.

But I can tell you this, like artifacts hidden in desert ground, each truth I discovered made me feel richer and richer.  I know began to feel as if thousands of years worth of shackles were being broken.  The albatross of churchanity was no longer anchored around my neck.  The chains that bound 
my mind and my ruach to the lies I had been fed my entire life were being broken.  I was FREE!  I
was delivered!  I was redeemed.  And I discovered, I had been chosen…   this always brings tears to my eyes, a smile to my face, and an indescribable joy to my heart and soul.

I figured out early on that it is completely necessary to learn to read scripture in the Abaryt if you want to have a true understanding of it.  I want to live and live right, so it became my mission to understand my Creator in the language He presented Himself to His chosen people in.  The more I studied and learned, the more I realized I had to unlearn.  As I began to peel the layers of brokenness away, the rotten stink that was my former self began to dissipate.  As I began to delight in being obedient to the truth I was learning, the more I began to hate the person that I once was.  And the more I began to hate that old me, the more I grew to love the One who was molding and remaking me in His image.  The experience is awesome, and I cannot describe it to you.  It is truly something you have to feel and discover for yourself. 

But I can and will share this.  You will NEVER discover the truth hiding in and binding yourself to christianity, or any other religion for that matter.  I discovered that YHUH, the Mighty One of Abraham, Yitschaq, and Yaqab cannot be found in man’s religions.  His truth is not written in the pages of their doctrines.  Even the bryt Chadashah/New Testament cannot reveal to you the fullness of who YHUH is, nor what He desires and expects in His chosen.  The only way to discover this is to immerse yourself in the Turah and to study the prophesies of the Nabyaym.  YHUH spoke the words and they were written in Abaryt.  Learn the language, and you will discover a world full of truth that is life giving. 

I've been laughed at, ridiculed, talked about, whispered about, and lied to.  I've had so called sisters in the "way" chastise me because I study and refuse to adhere to the doctrines of these self or people appointed morehs and elders.  My thoughts about that is if you fall for new lies you may as well stick with the old lies, because no matter how good you try and make it sound a lie is still a lie.

YHUH said learn His words.  He said bind them to your heads and your hands, in other words know them and do them.  Obedience is the key, but only that which comes from true love and reverence and fear of the Mighty One of Yasharal.  YHUH is His name.  He will not give His praise nor His esteem to any other. 

One of the many proverbs says “in all of your getting, get understanding.”  We need to really seek YHUH’s ways.  We need to stop perishing for lack of knowledge.

Alykham Shalum

Tamar

Cooking Brashyt 1:29 the recipe book

Shalum Alykham loves....

Just wanted to share that I am currently in the process of creating a recipe book that will be filled with recipes and tips for eating and living brashyth 1:29, Uyaqra 19:19, Dabarym 22:9-11.

 Until I can get publishing, the book will only be available via PDF.  However, if it is the will of Aby, a bound book will be available soon.  In the meantime be on the lookout for tips and hints that will be periodically popping up on this site.  Until then, praying for clean eating for you all.

Alykham Shalum,

Tamar

Learning Loc Patience

I actually began the journey to locs some time ago.  As with all things, being patient through the process was a little difficult. 

I wanted locs and I wanted them now!!!

I literally would check my twists every day to see if they were budding.  The disappointment I felt each day grated on my nerves.  I thought that if I tried some of those quick loc methods, my hair would loc within a few months, and I wouldn't have to wait an entire year to see "mature" locs. 

This thinking was crazy and non-realistic.  I had to learn that good things truly come to those that wait, and that if I wanted to ever be able to properly take care of my locs, I needed to patiently go through each stage of the loc process and learn the needs of my hair. 

So, as I begin the journey anew, I thought I'd share some things I’ve learned early on in my loc journey......

 

1:  Your hair will never look or feel or grow the same way someone else’s does. 

 

2:  Proper moisture is key.  It is a myth that newly formed locs do not need nourishment or moisture, or that not conditioning them is better for them.  Remember, natural hair needs to be properly moisturized or it will become dry and brittle.  Dry and brittle hair is not healthy hair.  While we do not want to over condition locs during the “infant” stage, applying conditioner is needed.   Try adding a little leave-in conditioner and light oil to your daily spritz.

 

3:  Wax of any kind is not good for the hair.  It places a heavy coating on the hair that weighs it down, and keeps moisture from penetrating the hair shaft properly.

 

4:  It is actually okay to trim your locs.  All hair has the ability to split, even loc’d hair.  However, it is unnecessary to clip those hairs that spring out of your locs from time to time.  A simple palm roll will help guide the hair back into the loc.

 

5:  Over manipulation of hair period, is never good.  Yes Locs can be versatile, however, one should be careful when styling locs.  Make sure to limit styles that put too much pressure on the loc, and also styles that keep the loc bent or twisted for long periods of time.  Pulling the hair back too often or too tightly can damage the hair line, as can retwisting too often or too tightly. 

 

6:  It is important to keep locs clean.  It is erroneous to think that locs do not require proper maintenance.  As important as it is to clean locs, it is also important to make sure locs dry thoroughly after shampooing and/or conditioning. 

 

7:  It is best to wrap the locs in fabrics that allow the locs to breath.  It is erroneous to think that natural fabrics such as cotton or wool damage the loc.  Truth is, both fabrics allow the hair and scalp to breathe, which is necessary to hair and scalp health.  Silk is another good natural fabric that will allow the loc and the scalp to breathe.  A few other natural fabrics are bamboo, linen, and hemp.  Synthetic fabrics DO NOT allow the hair and scalp to breathe.  This can retard the growth process, as well as cause damage to the hair.  Satin is not a natural or breathable fabric.  Satin is usually made solely of polyester which is made from petroleum, or it is a polyester/silk blend.  Whichever way it is created, it does not breathe.  It truly is like placing a blanket of petroleum on top of your head and expecting for air to penetrate it.  Does not happen.  Two synthetics that might be the exception are rayon and tencel/lyocell.  Both are made from wood pulp, called cellulose, and have been said to be breathable “synthetics” thanks to being made of natural fibers.   The thing to watch for, is that it is easier to find unblended rayon than it is tencel, as most clothiers tend to mix tencel with other natural fibers, such as cotton, to make it more breathable and more biodegradable.  The key to wearing cotton and wool is to keep the hair moisturized, as these materials do tend to absorb the moisture from the hair. 

 

8:  The loc process takes time.  There are a lot of methods being touted to loc the hair quicker.  Let your hair take its time to loc.  Enjoy the process.  Learn what makes your hair glad and what doesn’t.  In the end, you will appreciate your locs more and be better equipped to properly take care of them.

Locs.....starting over

Many many months ago, I started locs.   When the first set didn't meet my expectations, I took them down and started them over.  I couldn't make up my mind how large or small I wanted them so I started combining them.  I realized too late that they would turn out much larger than I wanted so alas, I took them down again.  Decided I would just forego the whole loc process.   Within a week I could cry I missed my locking hair so much.   I realized I actually liked the size they were before I started combining them.   It's not so much that I was indecisive.  I had a lot going on in my life at the time.   Upcoming state wedding to legitimize my covenant.  Trying to figure out where my belief lay.  Trying to determine if I could continue living in the upheaval surrounding me.  Hating so many things going on in my life at one time.  Locking my hair suddenly became like a vice gripped around my neck.  I was choking on the one thing that I was sure of.  Over the past few weeks, months really, so many things began to fall into place.  YHUH took me by the hand, led me into my closet, gently guided me to a prostrate position and opened my heart to truly seeking His answers for all that was going on in my life.    Fast forward to tonight.... I am so proud to say, my loc journey is once again beginning.   My daughter is coming to two strand twist my starter locs.  I've made my flax seed gel.  My hair has been washed.  I'm ready.  Yes, I am truly ready.  YHUH has answered so many questions for me and every day I am growing closer and closer to Him.  Everyday I am learning to truly trust in and depend on Him.  Everyday I am being guided to true fellowship with my Almighty Father.  He is so sweet.  He is so strong, loving, and forgiving.  His compassion has led me through so much to a good place.   Not that I expect for every day to be a bed of roses, but I know that because YHUH loves me, I can make it through anything.   So here I go.....  Loc world here Tamar comes!!!! Again.